today, i did alot of thinkings..
as in, everywhere i go, may it be waiting for food to be served, walking around etc etc, i am deep in thoughts..
i can literally hear myself talking in my heart.
i am reali thinking...
oh well, i'm not very sure if this is kinda rare, but after all these deep thoughts, i was kinda expecting great things to happen and also, i have a sudden urge for a new start in my life.


a few weeks ago... eelee ramdomly asked me a question that somehow create a stir in me.
thou it was quite ramdom, but i kept thinkin abt it..
she asked me wat is my biggest dream for god.
today, this question pop out again..
btw, in northwest meet, we learn abt God's promises..
and i was thinking.......
if i dun start to dream for god..
if i dun wana attempt great things for god...
den how on earth would God bring me to his promise land?
cos there isnt a promise land in e 1st place when i decide not to do anything abt it.
so i will be deprive frm many many great stuffs that God has instored for me !
and and and, i want to experience God in a real way..
hmmms, there is no fake way anyway.. oh well.
but yea, i wana grow alot more in God.
i reali want to.


i rmber when i was leading west C in the past..
i used to have a vision, a big dream for god.
and it reali drives me on..
i can clearly rmber the days when i feel like giving up, and God reminded me again and again of the vision and his promises.
sadly, there are still no breakthrrus in the group..
i came to a point assuming that e promises that God promise me wun come to pass.
its jus a dream, its jus an unreachable goal.
and mayb its jus another empty promises..
and guess wat happen?
during one of the worship session in camp,
God gave me a crystal clear msg....
he said.. "i will NEVER break my promises,i'll NEVER lie"
i was like... in the 'omg' mode when i heard God speaking thru shirls.
and yeah, since den, i noe that once God promise me, he will make sure it come to pass...
God, i hold u responsible for wat u've said! hor?


was also thinking abt 2005.
oh well, thou it's already histroy, but i rmber saying in one of my entries that if i can choose, i wouldnt wana go thru year 2005.
cos 2005 is reali a pruning year for me !
but for now, i wana say....
even if i can choose, i will choose to go thru 2005.
cos 2005 is the year that i have no choice but to rely on God.
a year that i truely understand that the plans that i've planned, cant work if its only base on my own wisdom.
a year where by i experience God alot, kinda a turning point of my life..
actually there are alot alot, cant share all.
jus that, i became stronger since den!
yups, its history le.
shall not live in the past.
opps btw, i said all these cos i rmber having a big dream for God last year.
but i already forgot wat exactly it was.
so i cant consider that a big dream now.
i am a loser hur?
oh well, i wana think carefully...
so that i will still rmber even when i am old.
my dream for god.


hello darling daddy!!
i wana walk into ur promise land =)
i wana claim them !
i wana experience u!! yes YOU!
i wana be part of ur glorious plan and promises.
yeah God.
i wana be the witness of how faithful u are.
i wana be the one that went thru the process of dreaming and work it out to let the dream dun jus remain as dream.
okay God!! Me!! tingting!


another food for tot ..
i guess i am too sensitive other little things.
its like, i jump into conclusion too quickly without finding out the truth.
as in, i tried to read ppl's mind..
but as u all noe, we can NV read ppl's mind.
and lidat, i assumed things!
argh.
and to say the truth, its dumb!
y i say so....?
can u imagine u, hurting urself emotionally and its all bcos,u assume ppl think this way.
let me tell u one simple truth...
i am not always right, we are not always right !
revolution hur?
so i am always reminding myself....
i cannot assume how ppl think and end up hurting myself
its dumb, its reali dumb !


i truly hate this word "assuming"
due to bad experience abt it.
share a puny bit.
there is this person THOUGHT that i dun trust her, since den, she refused to trust me.
another person, THOUGHT that i am angry, and she scream at me for god knows reason.
and many misunderstandings and mistakes occurs when "assuming" comes in.
and of cos, i did this stupid mistake MANY times too!
i rmber i ASSUME that my sheep knows.. and u noe wat?
no one knows.. so end up, everything was in chaos.
omg, its jus disastrous!


ohh..... and also.
i reali wana say that i appreciate eelee alot =)
i am not very good at saying words that will moved ppl to tears.
i am lousy at words !
jus wana say that, God favours me by giving me eelee as shepherd =)
i lurve u shepherd !

and and and..

today aaron told me this... "i lurrve you!" and many others words that i cant reali catch it.

oh btw, aaron is my brother... duhh.

i was kinda shocked but touch.

i am still trying to figure out wat exactly he said after the 'i love u'

cos she speak in a real fast speed due to time constrain.

and i reali wonder.... is that a forfeit for him or ...?

hahaha, nvm..

i feel very blessed =)


i was thinking...
my grp is growing too slow!!!
stuck at 12 for god knows how long...
damn long!
can we break it soon ?
15 ppl!!!!!
dun underestimate God's abilities k!
we are not able, TRUE.
but God is able.
i duno wat to say.
catch my heartbeat?
15 !
we should move on frm 12 mann.
its time
PASSION.
hey, passion!
got it?
passion cannot be dead!
its a boo boo and hoo hoo to allow the passion to die off.
its our responsibilities to renew ourselves.
no matter how sucks the circumstances are, we will have capacity to renew our soul =)
passion cannot be dead.
blive God for great things.
dun limit God.
=)
if u dare to blive God, God will give it to us!
its OURS anyway, its jus the matter of time =)
wahahaha.
so make it soon!
lols


ohh!! long post!!
as i say...
today is the day where my brains are working hard.
hehe!

-tiinggx`charriis ™ __* ii am ur beloved , ii am ur child-

 

 

 

 

 

 

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